


Hell's Kitchen

by Shae_C



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fanart, Fluff, Hastur and Ligur being domestic, Humor, M/M, These two are terrifying but in love, but they have so much fun spending time together while doing it, they're plotting horrors to unleash on humanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21866224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shae_C/pseuds/Shae_C
Summary: When your husband makes a new poison for humanity Just Right!!
Relationships: Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21
Collections: Oh Come All Ye Sinful! A Depraved Holiday Exchange 2019





	Hell's Kitchen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Black_Fig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Fig/gifts).



> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Fig!! *hugs* You're an absolute sweetheart and I'm so happy to have gotten to know you. I hope you like your present and have the best holidays possible.

Every so often there were demons who were given access to Hell's kitchen. It was one of the worst places the nine circles had to offer, full of things gone sour and meant to turn any stomach squeamish. There were usually a few ghastly sights as well as far as blood and body parts were concerned. It wasn't a place for anyone to go and make themselves a cup of tea*, but was far more suited to the concoction of unspeakable horror in gruel form.

Being sent here seemed to be more of a punishment than anything else. 

Except for two demons. 

Once they entered they became the most gag inducing thing according to hell.

Domestic. 

“Oi. Taste this.” Ligur held up a spoon with a boiling sludge attached. 

Hastur leaned over and took a taste. He coughed violently and nearly dropped to the ground, only saved by grabbing onto the counter.

“That bad?” 

“Bad?!” the demon spat the taste from his mouth before looking up with a grin. “It's poison, love. Could kill a whole village with that.”

“Not just saying that?”

“Would I lie to you?”

“Frequently. It's why we work so well together.” Ligur returned the smile, adjusting Hastur's scarf before clamping down the lid on the boiling pot with reinforced locks. “Now we let that stew for a week and we have a brand new gift for Earth. In the meantime, I have a surprise for you.”

“Surprise eh?” Hastur lit up a cigarette for Ligur and then himself before taking his hand as they walked from the kitchen. “Am I going to like it?”

“You like fire. I think you'll like this.” Ligur's eyes danced with an evil glow.

Later that night two demons held hands and sighed happily as they sat on Earth under the stars, watching several small historic landmarks go up in flames in England's countryside.

End

Footnotes:  
*Even the demons that drank tea on occasion knew better than to trust anything that came out of the kitchen. Tea was never just tea and the cups tended to bite.


End file.
